A nuclear bomb is a simple thing. A single free neutron that strikes a radioactive core to start a chain reaction of doom. There are bagels engineered to be so complex they contain eternity. Within the baffling mobius strip of the everything bagel is our past, present and future. Has science gone too far? Should an over the counter bagel that even unsupervised children can buy contain everything?
At its height, the Manhattan Project employed around 130,000 people. Led by Robert Openheimer (Oppie) and headquartered in New Mexico the Manhattan Project employed geniuses such as Albert Einstein, Richard Feynam, Enrico Germi, Niels Bohr, John Von Neuman and the list goes on. Spending almost $30 billion in today’s money the United States was now armed with the greatest weapon in the world. In August 1945, two nuclear bombs were used to utterly destroy the Japanese cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Knowing the destructive force of their task at hand you wonder if naming this endeavor The Manhattan Project was just a coincidence or purposefully named after Manhattan, the bagel capital of the world.
For 35 years nuclear bombs were the most powerful weapon the world had ever seen. Then, in 1980, we saw the rise of the everything bagel. The innovation of bagel technology was developed around the early 1600s. After over three centuries of refinement the everything bagel was thought to be invented in 1980.
To quote Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park,
“ …your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
It’s no coincidence the origins of modern technology can be found in the 1980s after the development of a bagel with everything. 1983 saw the release of the Nintendo and Motorola’s first release of cell phones to the public. VCRs and Walkman were both invented in the 70s but didn’t pick up steam until after the introduction of everything bagel technology. MTV came out one year after the world bore witness to the bagel with everything. MTVs first music video “Video Killed the Radio Star” might even be a metaphor for the downfall of plain bagels and the rise of everything. Home computers and the launch of the Columbia marking the beginning of the space-shuttle program both in the 80s. To quote Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park again, “Must go faster.” And technology did.
Everything bagels have existed for roughly 40 years and the technological innovation and the risk to the human race grows. Everything bagels are so devastating they do not leave behind any bystanders. To this day you cannot find a single eye witness account online. Total annihilation.
The non-classified ingredients of an everything bagel are sesame and poppy seeds, onion and garlic flakes, salt and pepper. Any commoner can walk the streets of the world and know the trees, sidewalks, alley cats, traffic lights and etc are more complicated than those 6 ingredients. To the best of my knowledge there are at least 10 more things that make up the rest of the world.
So why the secrecy you ask. Simple, it’s a classic consolidation of power in every bakery in the world. Why do you think bread is the biggest section of the food pyramid? The foundation of the whole pyramid no less.
In 1946 President Truman signed the Atomic Energy Act creating civilian oversight of the creation and development of atomic power. To date no such task force exists over bakers. The holy trinity- butcher, baker, candlestick maker- continue to run this world virtually unopposed, laughing at our obedience and lack of power. Laughing similar to Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park, “Heh heh heh hrr rrr, heh heh, heh huh! He hrr! Ha Hrr!”
Richard Feynam wrote an essay called There’s Plenty of Room at the Bottom. Ignoring the content of the essay and focusing solely on the name one cannot help but assume Feynam was referring to our lowly stature underneath the all-seeing, all-knowing bagel of everything.
Witnessing the explosion of the atom bomb Oppie quoted the Bhagavad Gita:
“If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one..”
And more importantly:
“Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”
Oppie died in 1967 never seeing his atomic bomb made obsolete by everything bagel technology.