In 1954 Jack Finney predicted the future. The following is the Wikipedia summary of his prophetic novel Invasion of the Body Snatchers:
Pod people are a race of nomadic extraterrestrial parasites from a dying planet. Realizing their planet’s resources are nearing depletion, the pods evolved the ability to defy gravity and leave their planet’s atmosphere…Upon landing, they replaced the dominant species by spawning emotionless replicas, the original bodies disintegrate in dust…after consuming all the resources, the pods leave in search of other planets.
An original, and identical copy. Sounds like two peas in a pod to me! Gregor Mendel once tried to warn us, keep your peas diverse and yet here we are synchronized dancing to the pod people’s tune, homogenizing ourselves to oblivion.
While we believe we have already made our case regarding the podcaster threat, we must pay our tithe to the god of word count.
A group of owls? A parliament. Wise, knowledgeable. Just like Hooters whom tapped into this wisdom creating a restaurant chain emphasizing a beautiful mind or over body.
A group of whales? A POD! Cowardly mammals that retreated back into the luxurious ocean. Are the complex, structured vocalizations produced by a podcaster really just a whale song? Or more accurately, a siren song. Luring us in to smash us upon the rock of ages as we hum the collective tune enraptured within our symbiotic hive mind built no sturdier than a house of cards as we praise the false wisdom of memes and eat the empty calories of quips.
If you need further evidence well then, look no further than the words of the obscure podcaster Joseph Rogan:
“When you snatch little pieces of other people’s lives and try to palm them off as your own, that’s more disgusting than anything.”
Or this quote from pod person Rogan:
“We’re constantly re-evaluating the potential for life. We’re finding it where we didn’t think it could exist, such as volcanic vents and other extreme conditions like under artic ice. We’re finding life in these incredibly harsh and dynamic conditions, so we’re having to re-evaluate our own ideas of what’s possible on this planet alone.”
If those aren’t the words of a space-faring pod person than I don’t know what are.
As you go about your daily rituals take a closer look at your fellow Man. Are they still one of us? Or do they love murder podcasts, now completely enveloped in the pod of peas that we call the hourglass of the apocalypse; each pea a metaphorical grain of sand counting down to our collective doom.