Despite humanity’s decision to ally with the meteor nation, dinosaurs still rule our world today.
When women discuss essential oils they are obviously discussing the crude oil deep in the ground made from dinosaurs. When we need to make a train tunnel in a mountain, we use the power of dino-mite. When we want to be entertained, we journey back to the Land Before Time. When our younglings hunger we feed them nuggets made from cowardly (chicken) dinosaurs. And the question is, when will we choose cowardly nuggets from a different time period to reduce our reliance on dinosaurs?
In 1989, with the fall of the Berlin Wall, the entire world was humanity’s oyster (the oyster debacle is an entirely different article). To capitalize on this world-shattering event, the first patent on a tyrannosaurus shaped chicken nugget was filed in 1991, 200 million years after the Jurassic period. Humanity’s tardiness is an ongoing theme in the progression of our planet leading to “buzz” words we’ve stolen from the bees we’re recreationally killing, like global warming, that’s a fine tulip right there and dang girl let me pollinate you right quick. Why else would human females feel flowers are so romantic?
The question has persisted though, if the first patent on cowardly dinosaur nuggets was filed in 1991, why have no patents been filed for the preceding ages? Why don’t we have ice age nuggets, Egyptian nuggets or even nuggets that profess the rise and fall of the Mali Empire culminating in Mansa Musa’s trek to Mecca devasting the value of gold with his liberal dispersing of wealth along the way? Is the most popular form of nugget not the gold nugget?
Why do dinosaurs still have this hold over us?
Is dipping sauce just the metaphorical lava that dinosaurs suicidally dipped themselves in to clear the way for the rise of the mammal? If the Roman Empire never fell but rather transformed into the Catholic church and the British Empire never fell but merely transformed in the bank of the City of London, then maybe… just maybe… the dinosaur empire never fell, it evolved into this mammalian led world we live in today.
Does it not make sense that us mammals are just the dancing monkey? If only we were wise enough to perceive the organ grinder that churns out the tunes we tap our feet to. Go ahead, eat dinosaur chicken nuggets blinding yourself to the big picture, accept your place in the Jurassic regime.