Would you go back in time and kill Hitler? The answer is no. With access to time travel technology, you would travel back to the year 1988 and introduce to the primitive 80s the ice cream of the future, Dippin Dots. Sadly, you will find out the hard way, we weren’t ready.
As we all know in today’s modern world ice cream runs rampant with no constraints. It drips from cones, melts in bowls and requires strong biceps to be scooped out of a frozen carton. Pure chaos. So why don’t we see Dots for Dippin throughout the world? Our technology just isn’t good enough yet. The standard temperature used in grocery stores and supermarket freezers isn’t cold enough to maintain the ideal Dippin Dot.
This hasn’t stopped the future people of Dippin Dots in trying to help us along. For example, in December 2020 the pharmaceutical world sought the wisdom of future ice cream to make the corona virus vaccine possible. Proper distribution of the vaccine required extreme freezing transportation that modern logistics is not accustomed to providing. And so it was through the custom transportation techniques of Dippin Dots, in which the vaccine was transported at -120 Fahrenheit that made rollout possible.
It makes you wonder what other technology Dippin Dots has introduced that we don’t even know came from them. Maybe, smartphones, bullet trains and memes? Who’s to say? These technologies all seem to bring people together in the same way comradery is found in ice cream. Fits the trend.
Why can you always find Dippin Dots at amusement parks? Well I’d imagine it’s because making it to the future is gonna be one hell of a rollercoaster.
Is global warming their way of forcing us to learn superior cooling methods? A trial by fire to reach the necessary temperatures for Dippin Dot storage?
What is Dippin Dots you ask? Well some believe each Dot was actually created at the Big Bang. Each Dot an inverted sun emitting frigid goodness instead of insufferable heat like typical stars. Each bowl of Dippin Dots within itself is a cosmos in the palm of our hand, our mouths the inescapable black hole. We may not be able to travel the cosmos yet but we can consume them: planets, solar systems and the infinite coldness of space.
If a future ice cream can help us stone aged moderners manage a pandemic just imagine what the rest of the future holds. Dippin Dots has taught us to dip our toes into the future. Hopefully soon we dive in. We aren’t ready but we’re getting there.