The year is 776 BC during the height of the Greek Empire. The world has yet to find out Jeff Goldblum is immortal. He travels the world as a phantom guardian guiding civilization on a path of progress. It’ll be millennia before he enacts the Powder Protocols and creates the first superhuman definable by his snow-white skin. In 776 BC, Jeffery’s focus is not the superhuman but rather the ultimate man. So, he creates the Olympics Games and convinces the Greeks to compete in honor of his old childhood friend he used to protect from being bullied, Zeus.
Of course looking at the big picture, Jeffery knew with the establishment of The Olympic Games the increased competition and improved average physical fitness of the common Greek would lead to the creation of democracy and the strength to defend it by 508 BC.
At first the connection between Jeff Goldblum and the origin of the Olympics may be hard to see but it becomes clear when you get to the award ceremony of the modern games. In ancient times, Jeff established the tradition of awarding the victor of each competition with an olive branch crown. In the reemergence of the modern games we award the top 3 winners of every event. From first place, to third, contestants receive goldblum, silverblum and bronzeblum medals in honor of Jeff Goldblum. Shortened to gold, silver and bronze.
While Jeffery’s immortality remains a little-known fact, there is a place on the internet that celebrates it on a daily basis. Within the social media Facebook there is a page called The Same Photo of Jeff Goldblum Everyday. This page posts what seems to be the same exact picture of Jeff everyday but what most don’t realize is every single day, Jeff Goldblum takes another picture in the same clothes and same pose and sends it to the group administrator to post. You can go back years and see from these daily photos he has not aged a single day.
The oldest known record of Jeff is when he lived under the alias Aaron, Moses biological brother during what is now known as the Prince of Egypt era.
Mr. Goldblum’s achievements through the ages have reached well beyond our planet. In 1986 he received the Saturn Award. Without looking into I assume this is an award that Saturn hands out to its person of the year throughout the entire Milky Way. Jeff won it for his efforts saving the world against an interdimensional threat in The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.
J.G. has been a guardian to us all for centuries. Protecting us from body snatchers, alien invasions, Frankenstein and other horror monsters and even going undercover with a group of aliens now code named Operation: Earth Girls Are Easy.
I bet if dinosaurs were somehow to reemerge out of our prehistoric past Jeff Goldblum could even protect us against that.
Lastly, the greatness of Jeff Goldblum is seen in his most famous quote:
I, uh, don’t think I’m, y’know, so different than your average, y’know, average.