Millions of years ago, when the world was ruled by dinosaurs, there was a single stronghold that stood against the Jurassic regime. Long Island was ruled by a duck. A big duck. A really big duck. All dinosaur attempts to conquer the island ran a fowl of this great mallard protector.
When humans first discovered Long Island, they named it unaware whether it really was the longest island in the world or not. This big duck in a little pond mentality has preserved for eons. The only big cultural change in millennia has been the introduction of the bagel in the 1500s, enjoyed by humans and ducks alike. In a way, park benches have become local altars to enjoy bagel communion with the herd of ducks that swarm looking to take part in the eucharist.
The ancient big duck that allowed Long Islanders to flourish in their isolated community completely shut off from the rest of the world’s progression has perished but the echoes of his influence remain. It is no accident when phones autocorrect to “holy duck.” Upon integration with the rest of us, we too have embraced duck culture such as relying on rubber ducks being dumped in the ocean to record where they wash up to chart out ocean currents and sea lanes.
Although mainly positive, there are darker sides to the big duck’s influence such as the rising epidemic of quack cocaine.
To commemorate the big duck, a place of worship has been built in Flanders, NY known as the Big Duck. Originally built in 1931, it would probably have been considered the greatest marvel of modern architecture if it was not overshadowed by the completion of the Empire State Building that same year. The Big Duck has been added to the national register of historic places and has led to the creation of the architectural term, “a duck.” Which is defined as any building built in the likeness of a random object. It has also led the way in AI evolution with the tried-and-true IT method of rubber duck debugging.
In more recent news, the Big Duck has been named the number one wonder of the 7 wonders of Long Island. What are the other 6 wonders you ask? We don’t know. We wonder a lot about that island and its traffic though.
The Big Duck monument measures 20 feet tall, 18 feet wide and 30 feet long. While less than half the size of the original big duck guardian, it is still a worthwhile site to visit in person. And if you have yet to be there and buy memorabilia inside, what the ducks your problem?