Based on no research or inquiry, it is believed IKEA is an abbreviation of the phonetically similar Spanish phrase ‘ay caramba’ which translates to ‘oh no’. ‘Oh no’ being the exact phrase someone will utter after hours of working on their one night stand only to find out it’s not completely erect.
Psychological studies have proven that both males and females find symmetrical faces more attractive. So why would you put together a lopsided bed arrangement with a nightstand on one side and the other a cliff likely to make Wile E. Coyote nervous? Imagine bringing a stranger over for awkward drunken… ghost stories or whatever it is people do privately in the bedroom and having to explain to them they get the cliff side. Ay caramba!
Where do they put their nighttime cup of water? What if they need to put their glasses somewhere? You couldn’t have at least given them a floating shelf?
We will however make the concession that furniture in general and bedroom arrangements specifically evolve like the extremely popular monsters of Digimon. What starts as a mattress on the floor one day becomes a bed with an actual bed frame which then evolves into a fully made bed with sheets, comforter and aesthetic pillows which will never feel the weight of a human head upon them furnished with two matching night stands on either side.
The one night stand conundrum becomes a huge issue especially when you Airbnb the outer half of your bed that’s shoved against the wall. There you are on the inner side of the bed shoved into the corner. You want to take your glasses off and go to sleep but the one night stand is too far away and there’s your customer, the mountainous obstacle between you and the stand. You try gently tossing your glasses. It hits over your lamp with a huge crash. The bulb shatters. Your snoring Airbnb-er wakes in a panic jumping out of bed. Their foot goes right into the broken glass. They howl in pain. The next day they give you a bad review. No one Airbnbs with you anymore. You can’t afford your place. You’re evicted. Now you live under a bridge, your only possession is your one night stand which doesn’t keep you as warm as you hoped on those cold winter nights. One night stands are never a good idea, even if it’s just for warmth and comfort you may feel a burning sensation.
A one night stand isn’t for you, you can do better. There is a more balanced connection waiting for you out there.
PS: to address the “other” poor furniture choices in the headline, we highly recommend avoiding beanbag chairs.