Above the bridge there is a land that created our nation. The City of Saratoga began as a British fort in the late 1600s. In 1777 the Battle of Saratoga was the turning point of the Revolutionary War that led to American Independence and the birth of The USA. This great victory was achieved by the ever-loyal Benedict Arnold. Around 1820 a settlement truly began to take shape in the area and in 1863 an invasive species introduced to the area had taken over Saratoga and runs rampant to this day. The horse.
An invasive species is a species not native to the local ecosystem and throws off the delicate balance of the plant and animal kingdoms. For example, the introduction of cats to New Zealand has had a devastating affect on the bird populations of the country. The South American cane toad population has exploded in Australia with no natural predators. Hipsters have taken over the vast majority of seating in coffee shops around the world. Ordering the cheapest possible coffee and occupying a table for over 10 hours at a time. The lone drunk sitting in the middle of the bar waits impatiently for its prey. While ordering a drink, if you get too close he reacts and traps you into a slurred conversation you never wanted to be a part of.
Saratoga during track season, faces the trifecta of invasive species. The drunk, the hipster and the horse all overwhelm the city annually in July and August.
In 1863 the Saratoga Racetrack opened on Union Ave and Saratoga was never the same again. If there is one thing humans love it’s yelling. Put a man on a horse, have that horse run in a circle and allow people to bet on the human horse hybrid team and you have the perfect combination for onlookers to yell their hearts out.
The horse has become the most evolved invasive species this planet has ever seen. Like all other invasive species, the horse has physically taken over the area. The obvious race horses but also the police horses, polo horses, trotters, etc…. Unlike other invasive species the horse has developed an uncanny ability to spread culturally. I’m no scientists but I’m assuming the Saratoga horse commands an army of horse flies that sneak into our ears and through manipulative little whispers, convinces us that horses should be everywhere. Lining streets on banners, on t-shirts, umbrellas, bobbleheads, hats, and anything else you can think of.
Non-equestrian businesses and events also embrace the horse with open arms. Paint and sips, wineries, breweries, all with horse logos yet no horses are used in the making of their product. To the best of my knowledge.
The Saratoga Comic Convention Logo: A horse.
While the rest of the world embraces gnomes as the ideal lawn ornament Saratoga prefers little mini horses.
If you happen to find yourself walking into an art gallery, you’re going to find a bunch of horse art.
However, the biggest missed opportunity is there is no gym or fitness center called Horsepower.
In 1959 the Thaddeus Kosciusko Bridge was opened. Traversing the Mohawk River this bridge connected Saratoga and its horses to the rest of the state and thus to the rest of the country. At this point there was no stopping the spread of the invasive horse. It isn’t mere coincidence that two years later, in 1961 the sitcom Mr. Ed starring a talking horse swept the world. The horses used the Thaddeus Kosciusko Bridge as their straightaway right into people’s hearts and minds.
Some archeologists believe Bamboo Harvester, the horse that played Mr Ed was the Edward Bernays of the horse world. Edward Bernays of course being the human that created modern day public relations.
Some tried to stand up against the spread of the horses. Such as Monty Python’s movie the Holy Grail in which they boycotted equestrians during filming. Knights galloped on foot while the squires beat coconut halves to the beat of a horse’s clop clop clop. While a valiant effort this had no lasting impact on the spread of horse culture. The horses actually retaliated and that is why the knight chess piece is not a knight at all. It’s a horse.
It’s currently the middle of track season. If you find yourself in Saratoga betting and yelling at the horses when you stumble upon this article from what I’m assuming is one of the world’s leading new sources covering topics you won’t see anywhere else. I want you to know one thing: I’m only horsin’ around.