Squirrel Saga Part 1

Journalist = J

Editor= E

J: Hey Boss, you have a second?

E: Yeah Come on in.

J: So…

E: Why are you standing? Take a seat take a seat.

J: Okay okay. So, I wanted to ask if I can get an extension on that article.

E: Okay.

J: Really, I can have the extension? Thanks, boss!

E: No, you stated you wanted to ask me, you didn’t actually ask me.

J: Oh well, can I have the extension?

E: How long do you need?

J: A week. No more. I promise I’ll have it in a week.

E: A Week? You’re already 3 days late.

J: I Feel this story. It’s on the tip of my tongue it’s just not coming out right.

E: Hey, do you want a coffee or anything?

J: No thanks, I’ve already had a couple today.

E: A couple? It’s only 11am. No wonder you haven’t been able to write, your sleep schedule is probably all out of whack.

J: I’ve never had a set sleep schedule.

E: Yeah you have. It’s biological. Circadian Rhythm. Everyone has a circadian rhythm.

J: I haven’t.

E: Seriously? You’re one of those? Look at me I’m so unique I don’t have a normal sleep schedule. Come on, walk with me, I’m getting coffee.

J: You just told me to sit. Now I have to stand back up. Make up your mind, man.

E: Enough of the sass unique lil journalist.

J: Hey, boss.  Who is this person following us? Why’s she taking so many notes?

E: Don’t worry about her.

J: Okay…

E: Here’s your coffee.

J: Thanks.

E: Just how you like it. Black. Just like your soul.

J: What’s that supposed to mean?

E: You know what I think? I think you ran out of acorns.

J: I ran out of acorns?

E: Yeah, like a squirrel.

J: I’m a journalist not a squirrel.

E: A squirrel spends every summer burying acorns so it has something to eat in the winter. MMM yeah that’s good coffee. Okay back to the office. A journalist buries ideas but then one day runs out of acorns or forgets where they’re buried.

J: My god… I’m a squirrel.

E: You’re a god dang squirrel with no more acorns.

J: No! I’ve got another acorn. I’m good for it. Just give me a couple days.

E: If I give you a couple days how do I know your stuff is going to be legit? I don’t want none of that cut garbage. Get me an uncut acorn. The good stuff.

J: Yeah, I can do that. No problem, boss. I’ll get it done.

E: Hey, don’t leave yet. Turn around. Yeah. Look me right in the eyes. You have two days. Then I’ll have my acorn one way or another.

J: What do you mean?

E: I’ll take that acorn with interest. You’ll have a story going out tomorrow.

J: Huh?

E: You know who she is? She used to work as a stenographer. One of the best in the biz. I just had her write down this entire conversation. It’s going out tomorrow lil squirrel man.

J: How are you printing our conversation? Nothing’s happened it’s just a stupid conversation between the two of us. There’s no news there.

E: Oh you want a headline. Here’s your headline bucko. Journalists are a bunch of squirrels and the editor is the squirrel king!